He is the Answer

Kata Tjuta & King's Canyon, NT, Australia

Sometimes there aren’t answers. Call it maturity, maybe, I’ve been realizing there aren’t answers to every question. There are grey areas of faith that have to be wrestled out personally, between us and God. Sometimes there isn’t a ‘thou shalt’ or ‘thou shalt not.’

One of the biggest things about growing up is coming to your own beliefs and understanding. We’ve all been brought up to see the world, God, what we should and shouldn’t do, a certain way. And even if these things are great and true, they are meaningless unless we claim them for our own. Now is the time we take things on, alter some to fit our experience, and leave some behind. 

It’s healthy; it’s a necessary part of growing up and becoming our own people. But it’s also hard. I look at my friends, and we’re all going through the same thing. We’re changing. Some I now have less in common with, and whether it’s right or wrong, it’s sad to lose that. Some I have more in common with and it’s a blessing to connect more deeply with them. 

I’ve been wrestling with questions too. I see the choices others make, I observe the world around, and I notice I’m changing too. I’m an independent thinker, which I’m grateful for, but it leads me to want to know everything. I want the answers to the dilemmas I have, I want solutions to everyone’s problems, and I want to understand why people do what they do. Maybe then, I’ll be able to form conclusions. 

The verse in Matthew which says ‘seek and ye shall find’ came to mind when I was thinking about this. Didn’t Jesus promise answers? There are answers I’ve been looking for years, and I can’t find them. So, I opened my concordance to ‘seek,’ looking for a verse I thought I knew. But look what I found instead:

But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul. Deut 4:29

And thou, Solomon my son, know the God of thy Father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee… 1 Chron 28:9

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. Jer 29:13

The Bible is talking about something much deeper. God doesn’t always give us all answers and knowledge. Interestingly, that’s what Satan promised in the very first temptation. He zoned in on our idea that to know everything would be like being God. But God is far more than knowledge and information, a big Father Google. He is love, He is peace, He is joy – and ultimately, isn’t that what we’re looking for? I don’t want the answers to my questions as much as I want peace from restlessness. Knowing without rest would only prompt another question. But knowing Jesus hits the root. Yes, I may not know what I think I need to, but I can have rest and contentment anyway. I might not understand why, but I can have peace and even joy. I may not have endless information, but I can have Jesus. That’s the promise. Seek and you will find God. Not necessarily explanations or logic, but God. It looks like I’ve been searching for the wrong thing.

Isn’t it precious to think about? God could give answers – He does give much wisdom and knowledge. He could satisfy our theoretical wonderings and leave it there, but no, He gives Himself. He sees us seeking, searching, wondering, questioning, and he comes to us Himself. 

Here’s the challenge for me, and maybe for you too. If, after all my searching, I find God, will that be enough? Will I allow His presence and majesty to swallow the questions? Will I let His rest calm the striving and desperation to know?

Some things haven’t changed since the Garden of Eden. I still want to know good and evil, but God still wants to share His heart with us in the cool of the evening too. I’m learning that is enough. Next time I get discouraged after praying for answers, and all I feel is the whisper of His voice telling me to draw closer, I want to see it for what it is: an invitation for communion with the Master Creator and Lord of all, who is Himself the answer. As C. S. Lewis said: 

I know no, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?

~

Have you struggled with unanswerable questions? What do you think their purpose is? How have you found this growing-up stage of life? I pray we can all receive our questions and doubts as an invitation to come and know God more deeply. xx 

P.s I listened to this song again today, and I thought the second verse was especially relevant. Love is the answer.

How is Your Soul?

How is your soul?

I asked myself this question one night through week, and the answer surprised me. Neglected. I hadn’t been giving it much thought. Friends asked how I was going, and I replied with ‘I’m well, thanks!’ Physically, I’m feeling fine – a little more exercise and sleep would improve things, but I’m well. Life has been good, I’ve been busy seeing people and doing housework and scheming plans for the future (and planning surprises for my sister’s birthday because she’s awesome). But the question of my soul came as a surprise. I realized it was a little bit forgotten, lost in the hum of life. And I hadn’t noticed enough to miss that deeper experience.

I sense I ought to define what I mean by soul. But I don’t have a clear answer. I’m talking about deeper satisfaction; the things that make your heart feel full. It might be moments shared with friends, a long journaling session, music that touches somewhere deep, watching the waves at the beach. It’s observing the sunrise or sunset, absorbing the beauty of nature. It’s aha moments where the Bible comes alive, it’s conversations with God. I guess what I’m talking about is communion with God, however, wherever, you feel Him closest. 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life gets busier. I can’t think of anyone, including older retired people, who have told me they’re getting less busy, less committed, less hurried. So while I dream of sometime in the future where life slows down and I have opportunity to really live in the quiet spaces where God is closer, for most of us that isn’t going to be reality. We can’t wait until some elusive future date to finally have time for God, to finally devote attention to filling our souls. We’ve got to find a way to do it in the busyness, throughout the hectic seasons, right there in the middle of the madness. 

We don’t know how long we have to live. We don’t know what the future holds. We can’t guarantee that a more convenient season will come for us. We can’t just keep putting God off. 2 Corinthians 6:2 says now is the best time, now is the day of salvation. Now is all we have. 

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. James 4:14

And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent, the day is a hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkenss, and let us put on the armour of light. Romans 13:11-12

Friends, we were made for more than an existence, a mad scramble through life, always searching never finding, always empty never filled. We were made to thrive. It’s not going to just happen, but we absolutely can choose to walk in the fullness of life God has prepared for us. Jesus says in John 10:10 He came so we could have life, and life more abundantly. 

It hits me hard too. I don’t want to admit I glorify busyness to excuse myself from taking time for God. I wish I didn’t have to confess that good and meaningful pursuits have become idols in my life because they’ve taken from quiet moments I need to spend with Him. I’d rather not say my soul’s been a little forgotten amid the excitement of life. But that’s the truth.

I want to close with a challenge. It’s the beginning of a new week, and it’s the beginning of a new month. We can start again. This busy time of year is actually a reason to consciously carve out space for our souls. So, I want to encourage you to pause right here, think about the things that refresh your soul, and choose a couple to implement this week. Information and head knowledge is great, but it’s useless if we don’t put implement it. I’ve made a little journaling worksheet you can download for free, to help put it into action and consciously make a change. And I will be doing it too, absolutely.

Although we have a responsibility to steward our time well, I’m not trying to shame you into something or add more pressure to your life. This weighs on me because I know each of us was made to thrive and we can’t afford to wait. A better time will never come, and for each moment we intentionally make time for our souls, God will repay us with peace and blessings that outweigh any sacrifice. Let’s get back to the beauty that makes life worth living, the quiet places where His still small voice can be heard, the refreshment our souls need.

What about you? How’s your soul been recently? How do you combat the busyness of life? Will you be joining the challenge to create soul space this week? And please do let me know if you use the worksheet and what you think of it. Keep striving to stay close to Him, friends! You are so loved. xx

Name the Place

I’ve been reading the early Old Testament, and the stories are coming alive in a way I’ve never experienced before. Maybe it’s the transition from childhood imagination to having more of a grasp of the way life works. Something I've noticed is the prolific amount and significance of names given. People were named after their characteristics; it was their identity. The Hebrew definition for name comes from a word that means ‘to put, place, set, appoint, make, ordain, etc.’ Naming a child back then was literally declaring a prophecy over them. 

To us the old Hebrew names sound strange and random, but to those who understood the language, each name was full of meaning. Imagine introducing yourself to someone and them having immediate insight into your character and personality just by the name you have! It makes me want to learn the language so I can enjoy the vividness of life portrayed in the Old Testament genealogies. 

Then, there were names given to places. When one of the patriarchs built an altar, dug a well, even came to a place in their travels, they named it. They defined what it was to them, and, in most cases, the name stuck. I think it’s beautiful, because it sets that moment in time apart. It wasn’t just one of the times they were worshipping God, it was Jehovah-jirah, the time God saw and provided. The well where God met Hagar when she was sent away with Ishamel, was Beer-lahai-roi, the place she realized God lived and cared for her. Maybe it was a way of preserving the moments to treasure; maybe it became a catalogue of lessons learned and personal revelations from God. 

I was planning to lead into the significance of making sure we find our identity in who God says we are, rather than what others call us, or labels we cling to ourselves. I was going to talk about how God changed people’s names to reflect their future (Abram became ‘father of a great multitude’, and Jacob became ‘a prince of God’) and He can do the same for us; our past isn’t who we are. We are what He calls us, nothing less. And He calls us His own, loved, chosen, destined for good works.

But this idea of naming our experiences comes back to me. It’s a way we can preserve the little moments we learn and grow, we experienced life and love and beauty. It’s a reminder to pause. Often, I have an idea of things I’m learning and going through but it’s vague. I don’t define it, unless I have to write it down or explain it to someone. There are a lot of parts of life I never stop to process and appreciate, and it makes me question if that’s the way God intended us to live. Life is often so fast paced we don’t take it in and name the place. But what lessons and insights into God’s goodness might we be missing? How might we feel if we took a breath and considered what we’re experiencing, and these passing moments became etched into our memories?

So, maybe that’s what God wants me to learn from this observation of His word. He is who He says He is. I am who He says I am. And the same power to attach meaning through choice of words is mine as well. He wants us to take note of the life happening around, to us and through us, and truly experience it. Name the place. Set it as a memento to look back and see how God has been revealing Himself, changing us, and making this life everything it is and will be.

~

What have you been learning recently? Do you have a favourite Old Testament book or story? How do you think we can ‘name the place’ in our everyday lives?  

The Fire of Contentment - A Memory

Remember the time we went down the paddock at dusk and lit a fire? I remember we loaded the trailer up with rose clippings and weeds from the garden, and towed it behind the trusty mower to the place where the fire was to be. You tried to start a fire, but it kept going out. Finally, it got down to the last match; it had to get going this time. And it did. 

I rushed around taking photos; capturing the sunset through the pine trees and the light of the flames on your faces. We added dead leaves and pieces of bark, and the fire grew. We piled on the prunings from the trailer and watched as they smoked, burst into flame, and sank as ashes. The night grew darker, the fire grew larger, and I continued taking photos. 

But eventually, I put the camera down. We sat on our haunches around the fire, poking sticks into it and watching them burn. We laughed at each other’s antics; we chatted about superficial things and progressed to deeper topics. We shared our thoughts, and we sat in companionable silence.  

Finally, the last of the rose prunings and weeds were on the fire. We scraped in the edges, and felt the warmth one last time. Then we hopped back into the trailer, and the mower chugged up the hill home. We looked back at the glowing pile, and I believe we were feeling the same way:  

deeply content.

~~~

I wrote those words a little over three years ago. Today I found the photos I took that evening, and something about the memory still speaks contentment in my soul. My siblings and I have changed; life has moved on. We didn’t have any campfires this season, and I kind of missed it. But I have the faces in the photos, though they are more grown up. I have the same place to call home. I still have the choice to be content, and cosy memories like this one remind me that life is a beautiful gift and sometimes its extravagance can only be seen in hindsight. 

What’s one of your favourite memories? Do you miss those childhood days, or am I extra nostalgic? How do you choose contentment?

Notes to Self

ft. my still-developing artistic skills

1. Let people into your process. I’ve always been reluctant to tell people my hopes and plans, because what if I don’t live up to my word? It’s scary to share and not be one hundred percent sure I can carry them out. Anyway, this week I had two specific instances where people I’d reluctantly let into the process encouraged me and helped me see the way forward just by caring and discussing it with me. It was overwhelming actually. It helped me realize how much I need others. I pride myself on being strong, on not ‘burdening’ others, but I haven’t gotten this far alone, and I’m finally realizing I won’t get the rest of the way alone either. It’s uncomfortable to open up, but whenever I do (to trusted caring people) it turns out to be what I need. 

2. Don’t give up on people. There’s this idea that if someone’s not serving us, pushing us toward our goals and dreams, we should move on. I agree that toxic relationships aren’t good and we do well to leave them behind. But I can’t agree to ridding our lives of people because they’re imperfect, because they struggle too, because they’re taking more than they’re giving in this moment. We’re called to love first, and love always. Perhaps it isn't best to be close friends with someone who is negative, or sapping our energy, but I believe love gives everyone another chance. Take time to hear the other person, and what they’re going through. Conflicts can be resolved; it’s possible to work through things and be stronger for it. Maybe these people in our lives are actually gifts to develop us in ways that couldn’t be possible otherwise. Don’t give up on people, because we need each other.

3. Take time to disconnect, sit outside, enjoy the sunshine, and get off technology. I sat in the sunshine this morning, and it was amazing to feel the warmth. Spring is coming! Every week I have to wait a couple of hours in town to pick up my sister from work. I drive to a park and read a book or write usually. I sit in the car, which is justifiable through winter. But when there’s warmth and sunshine, I still don’t want to get out of the car, because it’s my comfort zone. It takes effort for me to sit and read in front of whoever is at the park, even though I know they’re not paying attention to me. But this week, I did it, and it was wonderful: the fresh air, the friendly water birds, the creek right in front of me, and even the conversations happening around me. I decided it’s worth stretching myself for. We’re made to breathe and enjoy the journey, and, wow, it feels good. 

What have you been learning this week, my friends? How do you think we should treat those who take more than they give? Why do you think we need other people? What do you like to do to make the most of spring? I hope you're all going well, and staying strong! xx

What Does Purpose Look Like?

Last week, I shared my developing thoughts on purpose, and the excitement in knowing that God’s purpose precedes our existence. I noticed many of you seemed to relate to the last paragraph, where I addressed those who don’t know what their purpose or calling looks like yet. Maybe you have an idea, but don’t know how to put it into action. Maybe you know the direction or field you're passionate about, but can’t pinpoint what the next step is. Maybe you don’t have any idea where God could be calling you or what your life purpose might be. 
 
I want you to know that not knowing where you might be going in life, or what you’re called to, is nothing to be ashamed about. We are never promised to know everything about the future; we are simply guaranteed God will be there. He promises to be with us always. (Joshua 1:9)

My mum said something recently to the effect that our purpose doesn’t have to have a label, a name. Our society is obsessed with labels – whether it’s for different personalities, lifestyles, health conditions, or groups of people in general, we’ve been trained to search for a name for things, as if that proves their existence. I know I’ve applied that to the search for a specific purpose too. We want to know exactly what we’re meant to be doing, down to the last detail. It’s true some people have a specific vision for their future: a mental health professional working with struggling youth of indigenous backgrounds; a nurse working in a specific overseas mission field; an author writing inspiring true stories for Christian young people. 

Very recently, I gained a clearer vision of my purpose, but I can't see all the details. And for a long, long time, while everybody implied I ought to have my life sorted out, I had no idea. There were directions I thought God might be leading me, but nothing specific. I couldn’t name my purpose, so did it even exist? We rarely consciously ask that, but it’s the way we’ve been taught to think, and it’s wrong. Just because you or anyone looking on doesn’t know the details of your future, does not mean that it isn’t purposed. We know it is because God says so (Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 1:4) and He can’t lie. That’s assurance. Your purpose absolutely exists, even if you can’t see it yet. 

And, the truth is, whether we have an idea of our specific calling or not, our day to day life will look exactly the same. If we’re living in response to the promptings of God’s spirit in our hearts, it doesn’t matter if we don’t know what’s next. Following God is letting Him lead our decisions and everyday choices, regardless of whether we know what specific direction that’s going to take. 

Maybe that’s what it means to live our purpose. The Bible talks about knowing God’s will in past tense. In a broad sense, we already know what our purpose as children of God is. We are to reflect Him, be love to those around us, share the gospel, submit to the work of His Holy Spirit in our lives, and other instructions given in the Bible. It isn’t elusive or hard to understand; God’s word outlines it all for us. This is our purpose.  

The Bible talks about different gifts and roles people have as part of the body of Christ – I’m not undermining that. It may sound like it still comes back to the question how do I know which one I’m called to? But they’re gifts of the Spirit. They’re given to us; they aren’t ours. If we’re connected to God, obeying His promptings through the Spirit, we will automatically be walking in our giftings! There’s no figuring out to be done on our behalf, we simply follow.

I’ve been reminded so many times, and I still forget: everything about the Christian life comes to a surrender of ourselves to God. That is our purpose, and as we follow, He will work out the details. 

I know it’s hard to be in a state of restlessness where the possibilities are overwhelming and the unknowns even more so. I can only offer what I said in the previous post: cling to God. The questions you have? He is the answer. The doubts you have? He is the truth. The uncertainties, fear, overwhelm, pressure, and frustration? He is always, always, going to be everything you need. Maybe not in ways we could label, but in the quiet workings of His heart with ours as we abide in Him, and it becomes His life we live. You are chosen to be a child of God, first and foremost, and there’s always a place by His side for you. That is your purpose. 

Much love,
Jessica xx